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Everyone wants to feel honored. From financial problems, to illness, job-loss, and grief, healthy couples allow their stress to pull them together, by relying on each other, sharing it with one another, and carrying the load together. “The number one problem—though I prefer the word challenge—in marriage is indeed effective communication,” said psychotherapist Laura Young.. “This … As healthy familiarity increases, so does comfort and the quality of companionship. Sadly, children are fed the same misinformation, and so The Marriage Foundation has taken it upon itself to set the records straightIt’s say #3 nails it most.
This is the case …
Too many marriages are struggling simply due to a lack of priorities- finding themselves pulled by everyone else in every which way, except toward each other. Our wedding vows run something along the lines of “I promise to love, cherish, and be in service to you, for better or for worse.” The courts may consider marriage a contract, but on the altar or under the chuppah, we are binding ourselves to one another before God in a sacred union and each committing to honor and cherish the other. And eventually those hurts begin wreaking havoc on our lives from the inside out. Things haven’t been working out for the past few years. Putting someone first is an incredibly hard task because our flesh is wired to choose self.We tend to think about offensive play in marriage, forgetting that defensive strategy is just as important. And to learn, along the way, who your partner really is. Until we learn how to control our minds, and the reasons our thinking brains so often work against our emotional best interests, we will remain susceptible. I would bet that over-familiarity is the killer of over 80% of all marriages that end in divorce. Stress. Marriages cannot be based on contract mentality. “Then, after the fact, have a conversation with whoever is involved about what you expect and why.”“It’s a deadly venom that flows to the heart and wreaks havoc in relationships,” he explains.
Thanks for sharing the wisdom Tom, It’s wonderful to grow up together with your partner, to experience life’s pains and joys as a supportive unit. Removing one link, or ten links does the same thing- it causes separation. Until a couple understands the purpose and value of marital communication, they will miss out on what marriage is all about—intimate connection.This may seem odd coming from me, as a self-professed entrepreneur and businessman.
That’s a function of placing your needs ahead of your spouse’s and dismissing his or hers as insignificant. We can get into the habit of holding things … What's killing our …
But you have to know how to reap the rewards. And we’ll either allow the experience to make us better- or we’ll grow bitter.
When we fail to realize that, we will hold on to our hurts for a very long time. Learn how bitterness is the number one killer of marriages and how to eliminate it completely from your marriage without the cost of a psychiatrist! It's not because of a lack of desire.
We can get into the habit of holding things in until we’re in the safety and comfort of our marriage- and then we explode.
It took a few tries to even comment. ?” But remember what I said at the very beginning of this article—that the killer often goes unseen.